Hi All,
Sorry for my delay in writing, but I've down with a terrible bout of grammar sickness. In class we have started several verb tenses, a series of pronouns and combined pronouns, and many, many other lessons related to grammar. Some days my head feels like it has been injected with a string of unconnected words intended to give me a lasting headache...then suddenly, after a week or two, it all makes sense! Sort of.
Luckily, I am never without help. I discovered very quickly that many people here know their grammar and take it upon themselves to make sure I know mine. My teacher says it reflects an almost universal love of the language. At a lecture I attended recently (in Italian, so I may not be exactly right), I found out that students here have to study Latin for at least five years in order to truly understand the Italian language...and it shows. I made a mistake ordering dinner the other night and the owner of the restaurant stopped me, corrected my grammar and reminded me "in the present tense, third person singular is always...!" How often would that happen in the US?
Meanwhile, I am able to understand a lot more. People in the shops recognize me now and automatically speak more slowly, but always in Italian instead of switching to English (I always wonder if they are thinking, "stupid American, she'll never get this"). The ubiquitous phrase "piano, piano" (slowly, slowly) is about to kill me - except that everyone says it so kindly, usually with the addition of "word for word, day by day, with calm." And several people have complimented me in the last week on the improvements I've made...according to the director of the school, my accent has improved; according to my landlord, my past tense has improved; according to the man in the coffee shop, my conversation skills have improved. So maybe all this grammar will pay off!
The key is conversation. I try to listen to as much Italian as possible - I watch the news (they speak more slowly than regular TV), attend lectures at the school, listen to children on the playground, and even went to see the dubbed version of Harry Potter. But speaking is the real challenge...How do I find someone to talk to unless I'm shopping or eating (and my budget dictates that I do most of my eating at home)? It's a little strange to walk around talking to myself, but then, it's not THAT different from what I do at home.
I'm hoping for new roommates that a) aren't too strange and b) want to speak Italian. And for an Italian friend. That would be the best for lots of reasons. With everyone coming and going from the school, it would be nice to know someone who lives here full time. I've met one or two "gentlemen" interested in spending time talking, but talking is never what they are really thinking about. Divorced American women have a reputation that just doesn't apply to me. Banking on it, the guy who owns the pizza place near the house grabbed me by the shoulder and face when I walked in one day and tried to kiss me. I guess he thought all the times I said no to going out really meant I wanted to be taken by force...ugh. Not to worry, my response was clear enough that when I come down the street now, he runs into the store and hides. And while other men have been suggestive, they have backed right off when I say no.* That sort of problem is good assertiveness practice and an unexpected part of that "fierce" I am working toward. It's also helping me learn some new words: in addition to the traditional "vai via" (go away), I've recently learned "sparisci," which means get lost. So a little new vocabulary in addition to the grammar. And some laughs to share with other women.
Anyway, new friends are coming, I'm sure. Until then, I'm listening away and negotiating the tricky grammatical waters. I'm also learning a lot about enjoying my own company. I don't get a lot of time to do that back home, so it's good. It's not like I don't have anything to think about. Today we started the trapassotto prossimo. Wish me luck.
Ciao, ciao.
*In the interest of full disclosure and cultural awareness, this is overt sexual suggestion I'm objecting to as opposed to the typical everyday flirting that many men here engage in with every woman they talk to. I kind of hate to admit that the day-to-day is kind of nice even though it makes the feminist in me cringe. It's hard to object to being told I'm beautiful, or hard not to laugh when I order water and I'm asked "with" or "without", which normally means with or without gas, and the guy says, "no, with or without a kiss?" I'm also often mentally rolling my eyes. As my friend says, you brush those kinds of things off like you brush off a fly... while also recognizing that it feels good to be visible, too.
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