This is a travel blog. About Italy. Really.
For now though, it's about getting ready to go, and that is a story in itself.
So far I have stored all my furniture, moved in with my parents, purchased traveler's health insurance, arranged for certification of the funds in the bank, gotten a notarized letter from my employer stating that I HAVE to return to the States in a year, found a place to retire my horse, gathered my divorce papers, and been to Philadelphia to appear in person for my visa. Today I sold my car. Of course, none of this would be possible if I still owned a house or had pets or a family. My aunt tells me that I haven't lost a thing, I'm just clearing the launch pad as I prepare for the next phase of my life. I hope she's right.
I'm doing a lot of taking stock as I wait to leave, a lot of sorting through what is lost and what is new, a lot of making clear choices about what (and who) I want to add to the new life. This launch pad needs to be equipped with people who are wholly with me on the journey: there's nothing like changing everything to let you know who your real friends are. So maybe my aunt is right and everything never really is changed, it's just that positive emotions sometimes have a difficult time catching up with a new reality.
For example, selling my car was much harder than I thought it would be. I got my asking price and thought I would be really happy, but I've had that thing for ten years and 182,000 miles. We're friends. Aside from the relief that I no longer have to sit in it and pretend to check my cell phone until everyone I know is out of a parking lot (so they won't see the cloud of smoke), that car is invincible. In all that time, it's carried me safely from here to there and I don't know what will happen to it at auction. I need someone to tell me IT'S A CAR, not another pet. Possibly it isn't feeling a thing.
So this is the beginning. If I've learned anything through all the recent changes, it is that preparation is a part of the journey. As it moves forward, expect lots of new ideas and new adventures, visitors during the year, confusing apartment mates, and lots of cultural "oopses" on my part. To those of you who asked me to write this and those of you who are new, welcome to my launch pad. In Italy, as here, I plan to study Italian and begin to build a new life with a sense of self that is, to paraphrase Clarissa Pinkola Estes, "fierce, and strong, and full of love." Let's see how it works.
